SDTW I Heart iChats

Important matters are discussed at our corporate offices every day.

SDTW Shurt Feelings #3

If I was smart and less apathetic I could make this feature into its own blog then turn said blog into a book deal. Then I would sell "ad space" in the form of the shirts by the brands I made fun on some subversive marketing shit.

After that I would take all that guap and transform myself into a pretty decent little coked up name dropper that would frequent parties in both LA and NY and try to explain to my friends that Pharrell is actually really cool in real life. I mean seriously, dude is hella down to earth.

BUT....

Instead, SDTW will remain semi-unknown and a blogspot and only appreciated by a few thousand stoners and the occasional wigger.

I digress...


Back to the fucking game.

Pick a shirt and say some shit about why it gives me a headache.

You might think that only white people are going to where a shirt so turrrible, but hold that thought cause mad Donald Glover slash Nick Cannon bruhs out there will cop this shit just to confuse naive whites into thinking they are trying to be ironic with the soft tee, but with a possible criminal background history. In other words this is a shirt you would see on an audience member in a Chappelle Show re-rerun at 3 a.m.

Nothing says o.g triple o.g like a faux-distressed vintage soft hand discharge water based soy ink Public Enemy tee shirt. Public Enemy is not some timeless band that your parents played in car rides to soccer practice. P.E was a group that you would only discover from someone's older brother (not mine, my brother fucked with U2, daily). Also at $35 dollars the only power you're gonna be fighting is the utilities company when you can't pay your studio apt electricity bill because you spent almost 50 bucks to try and look like you're older than 23.

When did they have the contest for worst thing ever? If they wanted me to know about said contest they should have bought ad space on Huffington Post. You might be like "Man, why you making fun of a little kindygardeners (that's how you spell it) drawing, dawg?"

Well, first off I'm jealous of you because you don't have the displeasure of knowing who the fuck Basquiat was and secondly, this was done by an adult and shown to people high on cocaine and AIDS in the 80's and now every time some asshole wants to sound like they know some "art shit" they bring up this dude's name.

Being good at keg stands is like being good at the yo-yo. Also, it turns out that this "beer" that all the college kids are so infatuated with is readily available at this store called THEWHOLEFUCKINGWORLD. You wanna impress me? Go to Ethiopia and be a cab driver and show those mother fuckers how we drive. J/K shout out to all my non-existent Ethiopian readers imagining what the internet is.

For people too cheap to find an ironic holiday sweater, but want to pay $35 to go to an ironic sweater party? That scenario is 100% impossible to even understand. It's like DMX not on drugs. I looked to see if there was a size option that said "false" cause this shit can't be real.

Give this to someone you hate.

SDTW Shurt Feelings #2

You know the game by now. Pick out some outstanding graphic tee shirts and discuss their merit.

Here we go...

At what point did rap/music fans start concerning themselves with the age of their money? Unless your last name is Carnegie or your grandpa looks like the Monopoly Man it's a safe bet all your money is in fact NEW money.

I am not actually concerned with the design on this shirt. I just think it's sort of worthwhile to show someone actually captured in real life wearing a Play Cloths tee shirt. I thought that brand was like the chupocabre or something. An urban myth if you will.

This dude is American, but they managed to capture the whole "Japanese teenager visiting LA in the summertime vibe" to the fucking t. I can just hear him asking for directions to Fairfax in broken engrish.

No..... believe me dawg! You may as well say your dick is sponsored by herpes and your breath is sponsored by sunlit dog shit. Wearing a talking t shirt of this magnitude is gonna end any hope you have of consensual sex. You couldn't get laid if you rode a bike with training wheels in front of Jerry Sandusky's crib sucking on an otter pop.

Again, not really concerned with the design. It's more of this dude's Good Times, light a incent vibe and listen to acoustic Dead Prez "vibez" that bothers me. I get the feeling this dude was really bummed when Common's hat line went belly up. I could be wrong.

SDTW Butt Hurt Disclaimer*

All press is good press

KARMALOOP

Durag Rap Vol.2 Presented by SDTW x IMNOTATOY

Back up in this motherfucker with Durag Rap Vol.2 for those that know about that life. This mix* is the follow up to the our critically acclaimed** iTunes playlist that we released a while ago on the internets.

* there's no actual mixing plehbwoy
** a flat out lie

Vol.1 still available for free HERE

These mixes are compiled by a three man Durag Brain Trust and the selections go through several levels of approvals to ensure that the durag rap listening public is receiving the highest level of undiluted cape flowing sound.

Also both Super Duty Tough Work and IMNOTATOY have agreed in the spirit of the season that for every download we will donate a two tone durag to a youth in need.

Here's the track listing in case you're all shook to just download the shit because you think your car stereo will pistol whip your Larry ass.

Download Here:

DURAG RAP VOL.2
DURAG RAP VOL.2
DURAG RAP VOL.2

Shouts to Jerald and J.Scott

P.S Also be on the look out for Stick Up Kid Rap Vol.1 being presented by the three headed stick up kid hydra of SDTW, IMNOTATOY, and Victory Light

SDTW Spread Love

In real life > tumblrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Introducing STDWYSBWAWBYAN...

shit to do while you should be working at work but you are not



The Rap Board

Anonymous

Everytime I get an anonymous comment on here I tend to think this kid is behind it.

Lil pumpkin pie haircutted motherfucker.

SDTW Shurt Feelings

It's that time again, where I take a peep into the fascinating world of streetwear t shirt design. Be prepared to have you mind blown away by these titans of industry.

The shirt is actually a sequel to a previous design they did called "Name 4 Things You Don't Have". Sup with this dude anyway? My boy looks like a 3 Musketeer that found a time machine to 2011.

How did it get deeper than sneakers? Do you need a degree now to collect shoes? I'd love to see the class schedule for a Sneakers Major.

Class Schedule:
- Jerking Off 103 (advanced)
- Intro To Light Skinded Rap
- Lacing/Cleaning
- Operating A T-Mobile Sidekick
- Living With Your Moms

Homie put chur lil' Eminem finger down. You look like the "boy" in a young lesbian couple. First off, I can't take anyone with the samurai pony tail serious, ever. You got fucking peace bracelets on. Don't those things make it illegal to have non mellow thoughts? If you're such a bad ass then why are you afraid to wear a t shirt that actually spells "fuck"? You look mad "p*ssy" wearing that "sh*t".

Ahhhhh, what's wrong Sebastian? Why so sad? Is the tumblr server down again? Ah man and you were gonna post "hella" filtered i-phones pics of that Sigur Ros show you went to by yourself. Well at least you got your little tattoo starter kit rocking tough.

Oh it's fucking Dartayan again. What are you modeling this time blood? Oh word? Sucker free. I don't want to be a party crasher here, but this makes ZERO MOTHERFUCKING sense.

It does not work:

- literally
- figuratively
- satirically
- metaphorically

Or any other way. How does this even exist? I would rather rock an all over print Twilight shirt than wear this fucking screen printed enigma. You are free of suckers, but have a girl clearly eating a sucker? Do you not see how this would only make sense to a retard on ecstasy?

All press is good press. So if you wanna cop any of these jawns holler at my boys

KARMALOOP

Putting Lipstick On A Pig Part 2

Why am I supposed to think this kind of chick is hot again?

Please someone explain this phenomenon? Why is it that if you put a tattoo on a chick that is a 5 she becomes an 8? That's like me pouring Tapatio on my dick and thinking Sofia Veragara is gonna want to fuck me.

First offs......

Bitch this is a fucking wedding picture. If your goal is to show how fucking unique you are you might want to not go and do the single most mediocre act in history of the universe.

My aunt's fucking cats can get married, so that shit ain't impressing no one.

Also, just a shot in the dark here, but you probably posted this shit on your facebook? Oh word? Does facebook have a button now that you can click that lets everyone know that you Dad is bummed on you for LIFE. Nothing says great daughter like tit tattoos and fishhook piercings.

Even if you marry the dude from Fall Out Boy I still don't see this shit working out for you. I know you think this photo is what Tim Burton jacks off to, but in reality you are just a semi-basic arm chub chick that works the MAC counter in Reno and your soon to be husband is going to cheat on you at a My Chemical Romance concert after the honeymoon.

SDTW Look Books Are For Assholes

And where in the fuck are you climbing off to homie?

Did you leave your palmade up on the roof?

Is there a fucking Vampire Weekend show up there that only you and the guy from the Apple commercials knows about?

Are these "mercantile" brands that oblivious? Like never in the history of life has a dude with that fucking hair cut ever climbed an "urban" ladder to work unless his job was to find a place to do key bumps.

Outta here = da fuck out

Hey cuz, I mustache you a question.

Why are you a fucking asshole dude?

You trying to win the Guinness Book Of World Records for being the biggest wimp of all time?

You look like when my girlfriend put's on my work shirt and tie and uses her hair to pretend she is a business man dawg. You are now the King Of Isapussy. You rule your domain with an iron limp wrist. I don't think you could even piss sitting down. You probably lay down when you have to pee.

And why the in the fuck are you looking down? Is there a copy of Catcher In The Rye on the ground?

Sub-note:

If you've been wondering why there is less of my prestigious op-ed pieces and more just internet shit it is because there is a project in the works.

Until the shit is ready for print I am not going to gas you all up, but be on the look for

PRESTIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE

Dropping 20 motherfucking 12

Guest Editor Post: Expresh Letters

Yours truly was asked to compile some images of type/type-centric visuals for a little guest post for the Expresh Letters site.

I dug through a bunch of shit I had after chugging a bunch of coffee and decided on 15 that I felt were worthy of posting.

The one above and this Simpsons frame below are my favorites.

Check it out:

Expresh Letters Guest Post

My People (Part 10)

I know I am hard on my people (no homes) but that is because I want them to strive for excellence.

We out here.

SDTW Photoshop Skillz Barack Obama Doesn't Care About White People

Hurricane Irene was over 5 days ago.

This golf course still looks like this.

Shame.

SDTW Real Headlines

Oh thank God. I was worried as fuck about that penguin.

And in other news....

KIDS ARE STARVING TO DEATH IN THE UNITED STATES EVERYDAY

P.S All of these SDTW Real Headlines come from Huffington Post which makes this shit super easy to do.

SDTW Look Books Are For Assholes

Meanwhile.......

At Hogwarts there is a lookbook photo shoot going down for some mysterious sneaker lifestyle brand.

I only can guess that the description will read something like:

"The haunting memory of craftsmanship from an eerie time before."

Like how you gonna put something that cost $78 dollars inside a castle that cost 4.7 million euros and act like they are on the same team?

That's like pulling up in a Maybach and stepping out rocking fucking JNCO's. This is like having a girlfriend that looks like Natalie Portman but has the pussyhole stretch of Pam Anderson. In other words it is not a good strategy to play "which one of these does not belong?" with consumers.

I can gurantee the Duke of WherevaTheFuckThatIs-ylvania is not walking around in a pair of these contemporary sub luxury Jordan knockoffs. That dude is probably wearing loafers made out of lamb anus that were soaked in baby shark's tears.

Oh and which one of these kicks is the collabo yall did with Voldemort?

That's the homie btw.

And that is all I really gots to say bout this right chea.

Gucci Mane Ice Cream Deal With IT

Stolen from the thunder from down under BrownCardigan

Saddam Hussein's Son Breakdancing

This is so crazed out it has to be true.

The motherfucker Saddam Hussein's son is poppin and lockin in a tent with all kinds of Arab chicks and shit posted around like it's just so normal ass Tuesday night at Casa De Hussein.

Damn.

The shit looks like an audition for Breakin 3: Electric Infidel.

Thnx IrishPat

*Update

Honestly, I really want to dedicate so much time to this clip, but I am just in utter awe of it and feel completely speechless. I mean dude has on a U.S.A jean jacket? Babies cryin in the background? No one clapped?

Did we have this video before we invaded Iraq the first time? Like had George Bush Sr. seent this shit would he have been like "Well, breakdancing is essentially the physical embodiment of U.S democracy so maybe we should give them a chance before we blow their whole shit up."

So many questions....so few answers

R.I.P homie

Not Bad

Supreme x Jesus

After exhausting all of the world's best brands to collab with dem boyz at Supreme went and out shined all y'all by dropping a lil' something with the homie Jesus.

Psshhhhh no big deal.

Just steady collabin' with the God of Gods. Nah mean?

Who in the holy fuck is actually gonna use this dumb shit?

Well, besides the dudes from the "Beat It" video.

You couldn't even stab a smurf with this shit. If I was squinting I would have just thought that the shit was a super religious nail clipper blade.

I'm not a boxcutter walker myself, but if I was I would not choose to do so with an accessory from a fucking skateboard company. If you a real deal go shank mode on someone kind of a guy you're gonna want the knife to be disposable not COLLECTIBLE.

Plus how many virgin points do you get for ordering one of these shits?

250 virgin points? 1,000 virgin points?

When you open the blade does it start playing Tyler's "Yonkers"?

I bet this knife will be responsible for more E.R visits due from deep finger cuts by Asian dudes trying to play Three Streetwear Musketeers on their way to The Hundreds store than for actual stabbings.

So unless you really want to catch a body Da Vinci Code style I would suggest just going with a standard boxcutter and have your "I work in a warehouse story" ready for the laws or even better just ditch the shit entirely.

Mario Is NOT The Father

You better find a sensitive Drake listening light skinnded dude to hold you down boo.